One Piece: Loving the Pain - Chapter 1

Loving the Pain
Chapter 1: Will you sing a lullaby for me?


3:45 AM.
He turned around to lie on his side. He had been starring at his alarm clock for about 45 minutes already and yet it was still doing nothing else but happily showing the time in red glowing digits.
He was concentrating on watching the display, as if there was nothing more exciting on the world and waiting for the minute to change, showing that another sixty seconds hat passed.
Even though he was fully prepared for it, he was still a little startled every time it happened. Just as if something unexpected had happened, even though there was surely nothing special about his alarm clock.

It might have been strange if the radio started playing on its own. But that wouldn't happen, because Ace had disabled the alarm clock before he went to bed that evening. Today was Saturday after all. Besides, his alarm clock had been working without problems since he owned it.
Gloomily he caught himself comparing himself to his alarm clock, wishing that he could function just as unproblematic. His mental ability was definitely not at its top at 3:47 AM in the morning.
Even though he was also wondering why he couldn't just shut off his brain completely then.

Sighting quietly he decided, after thinking about it for a bit, that it might help him to count the seconds as they passed by. He'd read somewhere that this was a great technique to fall asleep. Somewhat similar to counting sheep, there was no way he could stay awake doing that!
He tried to focus on his breathing and started to quietly mumble numbers to himself. "One… two… three…" Just don't think about anything. That was the most important part. "Four… five… six…" As long as he didn't wander off in his thoughts…

The display of his alarm clock changed to show that it was now 3:48 AM.
He had barely noticed. His eyelids had grown heavy, until he was no longer able to keep his eyes open.
But in just that moment a strange glow spread in front of his mind's eye. Odd. He could swear that this looked just like… What was it again that he shouldn't think about?
Fire.
His heartbeat quickened and the pleased look on his face changed into an agonized grimace.
The fire was still here. In his room. Right here with him.

An indefinable, upset sound left his mouth, right before he sat up straight in his bed in a sudden movement.
It didn't help. He just couldn't manage to distract himself from these thoughts.
With an irritated gesture of his hand he threw his blanked off his bed and it ended up in the gap between his bed and the wall.

At last he sat at the edge of his bed and buried his face in his hands.
There was no point in staying in bed when he wouldn't be able to fall asleep again anyways.
But he definitely needed to distract himself somehow.
Brooding he tilted his head back and lightly touched his forehead with his hand. It felt somewhat nice and cold.
This bloody nightmare made him feel so restless all the time, and especially robbed him of his well-earned sleep.
Well, maybe it wasn't all that well-earned like he would like it to be, but that wasn't the point here.
Being awake at 4 AM on a Saturday was just not fair, for no one.

Preferably he would have liked to take a cold shower, but the bathroom was right next to the room of his brother and he certainly didn't want to wake him up once more.

In the end he got up slowly and felt his way through his still dark room until he found the light switch. The sudden light hurt his tired eyes and it took him a while to adjust to it.

Quietly grumbling he was considering what he should do at this time of the day. He glanced over to where his computer was. Videogames…? Studying…? Pointlessly clicking through the internet…?
Somehow he didn't have the motivation to do any of that, so he dismissed those ideas.

Then he thought about something he could actually do. He'd come home late the day before and hadn't checked if they'd gotten any mail and his brother didn't care about that kind of stuff. Right. Going downstairs to check if there was any mail in the mailbox was just the right thing to do at 4 AM in the morning.

However, he was only dressed in his boxer shorts and he had already thrown his clothes into the laundry basket and he would definitely not take them out of there again. And he couldn't get anything else to wear. His clothes were in Luffy's room, because his wardrobe had collapsed a few weeks ago. It had been very old already and so far he hadn't felt motivated enough to build up his new one. The boxes containing the parts of it were lying untouched in a corner of his room ever since he put them down there.

Anyway, it wouldn't be too cold in the hallway, he hoped and it would only take him two minutes, definitely not longer. Besides, he was sure that he wouldn't run into anyone at this hour. So he put on his slippers and decided to go the way he was dressed right now.

He quietly moved through his apartment, carefully trying not to make any loud noises. Although his brother had a really deep sleep, but he didn't want to risk waking him up again. As he reached the door, he turned the key in the lock as slowly as possible, pushing the door open just as wide as needed for him to slip through and then closed it again behind him.

And now: the mail.
He was just about to go downstairs, as he noticed something across the hallway.
The apartments in this house were positioned with their entrance doors facing each other and under the door of his neighbor he could definitely make out a small ray of light.

So he was still awake? For a moment he was looking at the door and blinked in surprise. He was wondering if his neighbor had a visitor.
Although he was probably just still working. That would be just like him.
He was thinking about if it was a good idea to disturb him. Marco, the man living next to him, knew of his insomnia and had offered him before that he could come to him if there was a problem.
They've already known each other for five years after all.
Ace had got to known the other one as he had been forced to go to a boarding school when he was 17 years old. Marco had lived there as well at that time.
At first he hadn't liked him and Marco had mainly ignored him as well, but somehow they had managed to become friends after all. And as chance would have it they were now living in the same building again.

Basically, there was no harm in checking what his neighbor was doing right now.  Marco would know it was him at the door if he would just knock. That was their sign. He never rang the doorbell, he knocked. There was no one except for him who did that, especially not at night. And as if the older man had a visitor. He never had that sort of visitors. At least Ace had never noticed anything like that going on. But then again he usually had better things to do at these times of the day than standing in the hallway and watching who visited his neighbor.

Anyway, he had decided on what to do. If the older man didn't want his company right now he could just say so or ignore him.
He hesitantly knocked on the door.
He could immediately hear a loud noise from inside the apartment. Then a hushed curse, followed by a moment of silence.

Ace stepped back from the door and was already thinking about returning to his own apartment, when the door in front of him was opened a crack wide and he inevitably looked into the annoyed eyes of the older man.
His blond hair was unkempt and fell slightly over his face. He was wearing a purple jacket. The front was opened, showing his muscular body and the blue tattoo that adorned his chest.
Furthermore he was wearing black reading glasses, from which Ace concluded that he had definitely only disturbed him while working. That at least was something.

The older man looked at him coldly from top to bottom and then took of his glasses to rub his eyes with his hand. "Morning, Ace." He said at last. "You look like shit." He stated straightaway, just to trigger a small protest of the younger man.
"Anyway, come in." With these words he moved a little to the side, opening the door wider so that the black-haired was able to enter his apartment, an invitation he followed immediately.
They went to the living room without saying a word and Ace sat down on the couch with a deep sigh.

Marco was looking at him thoughtfully. "Was it that nightmare again?" He finally asked the younger man, who only replied with a silent nod. "You can stay here, but I still have work to do."
The black-haired smiled at that and replied happily "You're the best, Marco!"
The older man scratched the back of his head awkwardly and looked away. "It's alright." He mumbled more to himself than to Ace.

He was definitely feeling uncomfortable right now. He didn't have a problem with Ace visiting him whenever he felt like it, but did he need to do that while he was only wearing his underwear?
He glanced at the younger man once more and couldn't help but blush slightly; Ace didn't seem to notice though. Which was also definitely better for him, Marco thought by himself. He didn't want to disturb the good relationship he had with Ace because of something like this after all.

He couldn't help it though. He was interested in Ace. He had always been more into men, something that was basically not a problem and usually didn't bother him at all. However that he actually had to come to like Ace in that way was something that did bother him.
They younger man had been more like a brother to him after all and ever since Ace had started living at their boarding school he had made it his task to take care of him.
Furthermore Ace was also ten years younger than him. Ten years younger and a man. And as if Ace was interested in men, the idea was ridiculous.
He should definitely forget about this.

"Wait a second." He finally told the younger man and then left the room for a few minutes. As he returned he was holding a t-shirt in one of his hands, which he threw to Ace and a cup of tea in his other hand, which he carefully put on the table in front of the black-haired.
"Ah, thanks." Ace said right away and put on the shirt.

That's good. Marco grinned. That way he could at least not get any wrong ideas and calm down for a bit. That was definitely better than the younger man sitting on his couch half-naked and him… well yes, right. He should definitely not be thinking about this kind of stuff right now.

Sighing he finally sat down next to Ace and looked at him with concern. "Everything alright?"
Ace shook his head slightly and then took the cup of tea with both his hands. He blew gently to cool the liquid down a little before he drank a few sips of it and then put the cup back on the table.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Marco continued his attempts to get Ace to say something, but the younger man just shook his head once more and lowered his face with a sad look on it.
His hands were folded in his lap and he was nervously playing with his finger.
"Hey, it's alright. It's your decision. But if you want to talk about it I'll be here for you." Marco said in an attempt to cheer the other one up.
Ace raised his head and did now look right into the eyes of the blond-haired, his expression showing guilt.
The sudden eye contact made Marcos heart jump and he mentally cursed himself for not having himself under better control.
In the end Ace apologized for disturbing the older man at such an hour, but Marco stopped him with a wave of his hand "It's alright. Stay as long as you want to."
"Thank you." The younger one said quietly. He then leaned his head carefully against Marco's shoulder and closed his eyes.

The sudden contact made Marco jump a little inside, but he recovered in an instant and Ace, once again, didn't seem to notice his strange behavior.
For some time they just sat there. Marco's thoughts ran wild, but he reminded himself that he had to pull himself together.
"Oi, Ace." He finally said. "Don't fall asleep on me." The younger man, however, ignored him and just moved a little closer to the blond-haired. He put his arm onto his leg and grinned happily.
He was already half asleep and only muttered "You could sing a lullaby for me if you'd like to…"
"Even you should know that that would be a big mistake." The blond-haired replied dryly, but he had to smile a little at that.
He was actually more than happy with the younger man falling asleep on him. That would at least give him an excuse to enjoy his closeness for a little while without being suspicious.
In the end Ace muttered something else to himself, but he was speaking so quietly that Marco couldn't make out what he was exactly saying.

As the minutes passed by Ace's breath grew deeper, until Marco was sure that he was asleep.
He looked at the younger man longingly.
He had to hold back. He shouldn't do something he would regret later on.
But a little touch wouldn't hurt, right? He bit his lip, lost in his thoughts. The younger man would certainly not wake up so soon, he told himself.
He slowly raised his hand and gently tucked back a strand of hair that had fallen in Ace's face and then put his hand on his cheek.
The younger man felt unusually warm and Marco's palm was tingling from the touch. He gently brushed over Ace's lips with one of his fingers.
These warm, soft lips that he would really like to kiss. He ran his hand under the chin of the younger man and lifted his head slightly. It was only a kiss. Ace was asleep, he wouldn't notice, he kept telling himself.

He felt the breath of the black-haired man on his skin as he was slowly leaning down and…

No. No. Dammit! He shouldn't be doing this! He pulled his head back in a flash and noticed that he was blushing. He covered his face with his free hand and mumbled something unintelligible that sounded pretty frustrated into his palm.
He was way too excited. He knew that he should leave Ace alone for now, before he completely loses control.
He stood up carefully, gently laying Ace's body on the couch, covering him with a thin blanket.

No matter what he wished for, he had to be patient. He couldn't just simply take what he wanted. Definitely not. That wasn't like him. He didn't want to be that way.

Ace had a contented smile on his lips. "Sweet dreams." Marco whispered, before he went back to his work room.
Unfortunately his work wouldn't do itself and it was already shortly before 5 AM.